Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Expectations Not Met #SOL Tuesday, 4/18

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Sometimes our expectations are not met. Good or bad; wrong or right...it happens! This has been on my mind a lot lately.  I (like others) am a work in progress at letting it go, granting forgiveness, and moving on.


I had expectations of myself to keep up the writing life post SOL challenge...and I have not. I let life carry on around me but have not bothered to capture any of it. I did not meet my expectations. I regret this, but life goes on. I will try again...maybe I will do better.


We had a 4 day weekend for Easter, and my daughter's teacher sent their class's butterfly house home with her for the weekend. All 3 caterpillars were snug in their chrysalises and she was sure they would emerge over the weekend. I had grand plans for my daughter to take pictures and put together a movie or a book to share with her classmates so they would get to see the miracle they missed out on. All weekend long, we checked...and checked...and checked on the chrysalises. And today she took the butterfly house back to school- with all 3 chrysalises! They did not meet our expectations. But now, hopefully the whole class will get to witness the transformation.


We have expectations that our children will be organized, stay on top of their work, and perform well on their assignments and assessments. Sometimes this expectation is not met. My middle son is constantly losing papers for school. He forgets assignments. He procrastinates. I could get angry. I could berate him about it. I could micro-manage systems and sit over him watching him work. But will that help him become an independent, successful human being? Instead I am choosing a path of forgiveness, coaching, and support. We will work together to try to find systems that work for him. I would rather work with who he is than against it trying to change him into someone he's not. This is a learning for me, and it makes me think of how many students I have tried to micro-manage and fit into my systems and my expectations over the years.


Not meeting expectations has always been a bad thing in my mind. But, I'm learning to look at things differently to see if the expectations can bend, be altered, or can be met in a different way.

3 comments:

  1. I like this line: "I would rather work with who he is than against it trying to change him into someone he's not." And the last line stays with me too, that idea that there's often more than one approach towards any goal. Our expectations need not get in the way of anybody else's effort, struggle, and eventual success.

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  2. our expectations for others always need balancing with their own expectations -- for us as well as themselves... the "working with" part

    our expectations for ourselves are another matter (even more liberty to lay down unrealistic ones) but could benefit from the same kind of balancing. I am still blogging more than I did before the March challenge but not as much as I hoped. I'm trying to let that be enough -- and push the line gradually.

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  3. Wonderful, I feel we should have expectations but as you have said we should be ready to change. It helps all of us. Regards.

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